Things that go bump in the night.
For some people, Christmas, and the period up to it, is a magical time. There are festive lights, stunning shop displays, parties and presents galore. Expectations to enjoy yourself are high.
Yet it can also be an emotional time, for example, if it’s been a difficult year, or there’s been illness or loss. For some it’s an especially cold and lonely time, exacerbated by watching the fun and laughter of others.
It can also be a stressful time for these reasons:
- There are pressures to finish up at work and leave a clear desk for the New Year. Yet time is short and there seems to be so much to do that it feels an impossibility.
- There is food and presents to buy adding time and financial pressures.
- There are expectations from family and friends to be with them or go out, lots to organise, and demands upon family and individual finances. The cost of living means that some expectations may not be met.
I’ve written the tips below to help you confidently manage the pressures of the festive season. It’s a time to look after yourself too!
Nine tips to navigate the season with confidence
1. Friends’ party invitations: be clear in your own mind about what you plan to go to and convey it clearly to others. If you really don’t want to go, or it places too much pressure on you, say no, politely of course. Thank them for the invitation and say you’d love to go another time (as long as you would love to!).
2. Drinks and other work gatherings: again, decide what you’d like to attend, the events you would be wise to attend and the ones you’d rather decline. Balance both working relationships and your own needs.
3. Family expectations: while you may enjoy time with family, sometimes demands can be greater than the ability to cope with them. Explain in advance what time you’ll spend with family, how you value your time together and offer reassurance that you’ll get together at certain times. Setting boundaries can pre-empt upset and misunderstandings and ease the pressures on you of potentially disappointing others.
4. Financial pressures: so much is about expectations, and if people expect more than you can afford, setting some boundaries may help avoid disappointment. For example, if this year is more difficult than the last, you may want to say so or come to an agreement with others to limit the amount or expense this year.
5. Running out of time: take half an hour to sit down and plan what you must do, and when you’ll do them. This time out can greatly reduce the time you spend unplanned and if you do things on the hoof. My last-minute Christmas Planner may help.
6. Time for you: set some time for yourself to relax and to simply ‘be’, ideally daily for half an hour to an hour.
7. Know when enough is enough: If you can’t get everything done, congratulate yourself on what you have done, do the top priorities and leave the rest until after the holidays.
8. Have some fun: do something you enjoy to counter the demands of the closing weeks of the year.
9. Not celebrating: if this isn’t your time to celebrate, but you’d like to help others, you may want to consider volunteering with one of the many charities in need of assistance, such as Crisis or The Trussell Trust (Food Banks)
I hope the above tips are helpful and enable you to reduce the pressures of this month. Please visit my website pages on Assertiveness and Time Management for more information.
Wishing you the very best for the season.
